Before we get into our lesson on how to fight against peer pressure, let’s review a little background. Previously, we looked at The Dangers of Peer Pressure and gave a couple of definitions of what we're talking about. We mentioned that we often talk about peer pressure, especially with our teenagers and college-age kids. However, none of us are exempt from the effects of peer pressure, regardless of age. Once peer pressure hits us for the first time, it’s something we can’t outgrow or outrun. We have to learn how to deal with it and make ourselves as firm in our foundation and faith as we possibly can to minimize the opportunities for giving in. In this lesson, I want to give us an opportunity to strengthen ourselves so that we can hopefully avoid falling into peer pressure and the consequences of giving in to it.
By way of definitions, I’ll remind us—though worded differently from this morning—not all peer pressure is negative. There are some forms of peer pressure that we don’t commonly consider peer pressure but are positive. Negative peer pressure pushes people toward harmful or sinful behaviors, such as substance abuse, dishonesty, or compromising personal values to fit in. We talked a lot about the negative side, especially when we looked at those who gave in to peer pressure in their lives, which led to sin for them and others.
Positive peer pressure, on the other hand, could be friends who encourage us to study or do good deeds for others as we have the opportunity, living out their faith. This demonstrates our faith in our lives so others can see what holds us steadfast. If I didn’t express it this morning, I’ll add it this evening: much of the peer pressure we face is directly related to, or the result of, who we choose to associate with. This is probably why we focus on our teens and college-age group more than others. Some of us have jobs we go to every day where we don’t always get to pick the people we spend time with, do we?
I’ve worked in various factories, like Lake City, for one, and you didn’t always know who was going to be on your line at the beginning of the day. But you had a good idea of whose line you didn’t want to be on. I knew that for sure. You couldn’t always make that choice. I’ve also worked in warehouse situations where the language used would rise to, or sink to, the same level as a naval shipyard. You didn’t have a choice of who you worked with. You could choose the job, maybe, or maybe not. The peer pressure we face has a great deal to do with who we choose to associate with. When we’re not forced to associate with certain people, we should do ourselves a favor and associate with those who will influence us for good. We should choose to associate with those whose goals align with ours, spiritually speaking, looking forward in the direction of heaven, not so much on this earth.
Who Is Most Likely to Give In to Peer Pressure
Let’s ask a question: Who’s most likely to give in to peer pressure? I think certain groups and individuals have a greater tendency to yield to peer pressure than others.
1) People with Low Self-Esteem
For instance, those who deal with low self-esteem or lack confidence in themselves may be more susceptible. They might seek validation from others and, in doing so, be willing to trade that validation for giving in to peer pressure. They may need a sense of belonging, which is a significant factor in our society.
When I was in college, I studied criminal justice and took an entire quarter’s worth of classes on drugs in the community. We talked a lot about gangs and why people join them. Much of it had to do with this idea of belonging and community, whether the gangs were violent or nonviolent. The reasons were often the same: people wanted to belong. Not being sure of their own self-worth can make them more susceptible to giving in to peer pressure.
2) People with a Strong Desire to “Fit In”
People with a strong desire to fit in may go along with this idea. If you have a strong desire to fit in, you might do things others wouldn’t to achieve that. Fitting in isn’t always bad, but it certainly shouldn’t be our priority. Some people need social approval, and not receiving it is worse to them than compromising by giving in to peer pressure. For some, it’s worse than following through with whatever is asked of them. This is where we often focus on our teenagers, who want to fit in and have a group of people they can call their own.
I suggest that if you’re a teenager or college student who is a member of the church, you already have a group of people you should call your own: Christians. They may not always be your age or interested in the same social things, but they will love you the best, more than those trying to get you to do things you know you shouldn’t.
3) Those Who Have a Lack of Clear Boundaries or Personal Conviction
Another group may include those with a lack of clear boundaries or personal conviction. Someone who doesn’t have the same objective standard of morality that we have, because we look to the New Testament as our guide, might be more susceptible to peer pressure. If we understand that the Bible contains objective truth and that we must extract and apply that truth to our lives, we may be less likely to give in to peer pressure because we understand the responsibility it places on us.
David mentioned in class this morning, when discussing Revelation, that we need to plan ahead for how we’ll respond to certain situations. Peer pressure is the same way. You need to plan what you’ll do when peer pressure comes knocking. If it catches you off guard and you don’t have a strong sense of boundaries or personal convictions, you might be blindsided.
4) Fear of Rejection or Conflict
Fear of rejection or conflict with others can also make someone more susceptible. If you’re so averse to conflict that you avoid it at all costs, that’s not necessarily a bad trait, but it might make you more likely to give in to peer pressure.
5) Impulsiveness or Risk-Take
If you’re overly impulsive or a high risk-taker, you might give in to peer pressure because you don’t see the harm in it. You might think, “I’ll be all right. It’s okay. I don’t mind taking chances.” This can lead to a world of pain, suffering, and hurt if we’re not careful.
6) Previous Trauma or Insecurity
Previous trauma or insecurity in your life can also make you more vulnerable to peer pressure.
7) Lack of Support or Supportive Role Models
A lack of support or supportive role models can contribute as well. If you don’t have anyone worth looking up to, scripturally speaking, you might be more susceptible. I don’t want to put anyone’s family members down, but let’s be honest: there are certain family members we’d rather not turn to for help, advice, or comfort compared to a faithful brother or sister in Christ outside our physical family. A lack of support could cause someone to look for it in all the wrong places, as the song says. That’s not what we want to do.
These are some categories, and you might think of others. I encourage you to study them out for yourselves.
How to Protect Yourself from the Dangers of Peer Pressure
Protective Traits
How can we help ourselves avoid falling into these behaviors and getting into this mess? Here are some protective traits.
- Build an Identity in Christ
First, we should build an identity in Christ. We sing a song, number 208 in your songbooks, “He Is Able to Deliver Thee.” The last line in the chorus says, “Though by sin oppressed, go to Him for rest; our God is able to deliver thee.” When we talk about being in Christ or having an identity in Christ, we’re talking about a location designated in Scripture for those who have faith in God, believe in what the Bible says, and believe in who Jesus was on this earth and His mission to establish His kingdom. Those who confess Jesus as deity and are baptized for the remission of their sins are located in Christ.
- Galatians 3:26-27
- Hebrews 3:6
- 1 Peter 1:3, 21
- Acts 2:47
To protect ourselves from peer pressure, we need to build our identity in Christ.
- Search for Your Worth in God
If we struggle with self-worth, we need to search for verses that talk about our worth to God.
“I will praise Thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are Thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” — Psalm 139:14
If you doubt your self-worth, go read the Bible.
- Romans 5:8
You and I have inherent worth to God. We need to live up to that standard, even if we struggle to find self-worth. It’s there objectively on God’s behalf.
- Renew Your Mind
We need to renew our mind.
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” — Romans 12:2
Transformation of our mind comes from consistent study, reading, and reflection on the Word of God. It’s the only way we’ll transform our minds to be more like Jesus. If we don’t, we’ll become more like the world. There is no safe middle ground. Transformation is achieved when we align our thoughts with the teaching of God’s Word. Too often, we try to adjust God’s Word to match our thoughts, but that shouldn’t be our goal.
We should strive to elevate our understanding to the level of truth in God’s Word, not bring truth down to a human level. When I played tennis, I enjoyed one-on-one matches with someone a level or two higher than me. It gave me a chance to learn from someone better. We should always try to elevate our thinking to the truth found in God’s Word.
- Seek God’s Approval Over Others
We should seek God’s approval before the approval of others. This only works if God is the central focus of our life. If He’s not, we won’t ask, “What would God want me to do in this situation?” Instead, we might ask, “What will give me the most enjoyment?” That’s the wrong question. We should ask, “What is pleasing to God?” and go that route.
Jesus set out to do His Father’s will.
“Let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” — Luke 22:42
Jesus consistently sought to do His Father’s will, not His own. We should focus on the same.
- Surround Yourself with Godly Influences
We’ve mentioned this idea before, but good influences strengthen us, while bad influences weaken us and bring us down to their level. We start acting and thinking more carnally when we’re around those without the same moral compass Christians are supposed to have.
“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” — Proverbs 13:20
- Psalm 1:1-2
We need to seek godly influences to build us up, especially in tough situations. If you haven’t faced such situations yet, you will, and it’s often a Christian brother or sister who helps you through, not someone of the world.
- Guard Your Heart
We need to guard our heart.
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” — Proverbs 4:23
We need to establish boundaries in our physical relationships, even within the home—parent and child boundaries, spousal boundaries, and workplace boundaries. The same is true spiritually. We have spiritual priorities to live up to, and if we’re more likely to give in to peer pressure, we need to guard our heart to withstand it when it comes.
- Obey God Over People
Finally, we need to obey God over people.
“We ought to obey God rather than men,” — Acts 5:29
That answer hasn’t changed for 2,000 years. God’s people need to be about the Father’s business.
“The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe.” — Proverbs 29:25
Peer pressure will be part of our lives from the moment we first recognize its existence. We can’t outrun or outgrow it, nor can we assume we’ll reach a logical, theological, or philosophical level where it no longer affects us. We avoid peer pressure by having a firm foundation in God’s Word, rooted in Christian principles and truth. The number one way to keep ourselves from giving in to peer pressure is to focus on Jesus more than anyone else.
Maybe you’re a member of the body of Christ, but is peer pressure pulling you away from the faith of God today? Are you leaning more toward the world than you did yesterday? If so, that’s not where God wants you. God wants you securely guarded, protected, and putting your trust in Him.
Maybe peer pressure is keeping you from being part of the kingdom or the church. That’s not where God wants you either. Safety is in the church, safety is in Christ. Let’s be where the safety is.
If we can assist you in any way, we encourage you to contact us so we can discuss you in coming into the safety of Christ.
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Peer Pressure
