God’s View on Marriage

Tonight we've been given this topic, God's Perspective on Marriage, and these topics for this week, and Brother Jack helped us pick these out, which are not necessarily easy topics to talk about. Brother Jim had, one of those last night talking about gender, and that's something that the Bible is fairly clear on and something that we really shouldn't have that many problems with, but we do. 

Tonight is another example of that, something that the Bible is relatively clear on, but we have a lot of problems within the world that we live in. In fact, this may be one of the most controversial topics that we've seen in churches throughout history. And we've seen churches that have been torn apart by this idea of marriage, of what God says about marriage and divorce and then remarriage.

See people all the time who are in situations that just are not what God outlined in the Bible. And so tonight, I want us to take a look at this as this topic, while it is fairly clear in scripture, does bring about a lot of controversy in the minds of some people. 

What Does the Bible Say About God's Perspective of Marriage? 

I want us to take it from the point of what was His purpose. How is it that we are to live out our lives as married people in the eyes of God?  

I really took that, that subtitle there of what does the Bible say from a lesson that I listened to last semester when teaching college classes down in Tennessee at the church there in Bethel Springs, that we were talking about marriage and when the Pharisees confronted Jesus about it.

We're going to talk about that passage here in Matthew 19 tonight. But in thinking about that and preparing for that lesson, I looked up some Speakers that I knew of very well, one of those being Brother David Powell who speaks in Jackson as a teacher at Freed Hardeman University. Brother David is a fine speaker, some of you may know about him.

But I want us to look at what the Bible says. If we as Christians, go around knocking on doors, talking to people about the Bible and what they think about Scripture, and one of the questions we ask is, do you think that Scripture has the answers for your life in it? And we get some different answers sometimes.

But as Christians, I think we hold that as our absolute standard, and we should. The Bible makes the claim, that it is the inspired Word of God. That every word in there was breathed out of the mouth of God.

• 2 Timothy 3:15
• 2 Peter 1:20

So as Christians, we should try to portray that, that we as the Church of Christ, you know, one of the things I've heard from people this week is when we ask about the different churches in the area, they say there are so many different churches and they've all got these different ideas and they seem like they're competing against each other of who's right and who's got the better numbers.

I don't want us to ever come across to someone like I'm presenting to you what the Church of Christ says about this. We need to come across to people as here's what the Bible says. Not what some might look at as an organization, although the Church of Christ is certainly not that, or shouldn't be. But we should be the believers of the Bible, and the Bible alone, and be the Church of God.

And I hope that maybe we can distinguish ourselves in other ways with that as well, as we try to come from the perspective of what the Bible says about topics. And this one is, no doubt, uh, just the same tonight. It does take a deeper understanding of what the Bible says. 

I wanted to throw this out before we jump right in tonight. About what Paul says to the brothers here. 

• 1 Corinthians 3:1-3

I think this is a problem that we see amongst a lot of people, especially when we come to them cold of maybe not knowing scripture, that we have to realize that they're coming from a very beginning standpoint of looking into scripture and what God says.

And there are many in the church that, while maybe they shouldn't be in that situation, they need to understand the scripture more deeply and be ready to take the solid meat out of it or the deeper meanings. This is one of those topics in which we do have to look into what scripture says and understand some things to get from it what God would have us to know.

We need to be able to take away all types of jealousy and strife and any preconceived notions that we might have and again look at exactly what Scripture says. We need to be able to examine what God says about marriage, and what his attitude towards it when God instituted it. What was his purpose for it?

Understanding Marriage from God's Perspective

And so to do that we turn to Matthew chapter 19 and we see where Jesus is confronted with this issue.

• Matthew 19:3-9

This is one of the most used passages probably when dealing with marriage and divorce one that's quickly run to and we see here that the Pharisees very plainly come to Jesus and ask him what his thoughts and what his beliefs are about marriage and particularly about divorcing their wives. And in Matthew 19, verse three, the Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, saying unto him, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

I think that's interesting the way that that question is phrased, that something that we would probably take note of and say, well, Jesus is going to tear these people apart, obviously, because they say, is it lawful to divorce our wife for every cause? And we would say, well, I don't think that's what scripture says, but why do they ask it in this way?

• Mark 10:1-8

 So with that in mind, we should ask the question, What did Moses say first to understand where these people were coming from?

• Deuteronomy 24:1-4

So if we look at this on the surface, it looks like the Jews here and the Pharisees that come to Jesus might have a point that Moses does say to write her a bill of divorce, but if you find, that she finds no favor in your eyes, you find uncleanness in her. We see that maybe that sounds like what Moses says is, seems like in this time women were very much being sort of tossed around as wives from man to man. And as long as man did not try to take back a former wife after she had married another then that they seem to be okay in the eyes of God. The Jews assume from this that God allows for divorce from this passage.

But as we later will see in the New Testament, Jesus causes this passage to become much clearer and exposes the truth of what God's view of it was and how the sin of man corrupted what God's view of marriage was. Many commentators point to the words of Jesus and the connection to Moses with the abuse of divorce coming as a result possibly of Egyptian captivity. 

I think we do have to keep that in mind when we read things in the old law of why were things so different. Why did Moses and the prophets, why did they say certain things? We do have to remember that these people were coming out of Egyptian captivity when marriage and divorce and having people as wives were not very many rules whatsoever. At least nothing that resembles the laws that God would have for it. So we see here, I think, that what Moses is doing is trying to limit some damage to what the people are doing and to show them at least that. 

Marriage is something that should be taken more seriously than being tossed back and forth. So we see these things start to flow over from the Old Testament as we're coming into the New and Jesus is beginning his ministry here. And we see the Pharisees with these ideas of coming from this tradition picked up back in Egypt. So how is this seen in the time of the Pharisees in the first century? We see in history basically -two schools of thought. Where a lot of people, the Jews in particular, would take their ideas from these two different sages, leading sages of this time in the last century of B.C. and the first century as well. They founded two opposing schools of Jewish thought that were known as the House of Hillel and the House of Shammai. 

In the debate between these schools on the matters of ritual practice and ethics and various things, they agreed on most everything, but there were a few key differences, and divorce was certainly one of them. 

If you compare these two thoughts, you can find this in the Torah, in the Mishnah, these things are written about. It says the house of Shammai would say that a man should divorce his wife only because he has found grounds for it in unchastity. Since it said, because he has found in her indecency in anything, coming from Deuteronomy 24.

But the house of Hillel would say, even if she spoiled his dish since it said because he has found indecency in anything. Others would say that even if he found someone else prettier than she, since it said, and it shall be if she find no favor in his eyes, according to Deuteronomy 24. So you see these various ideas where people are lining up with different schools of thought, whichever one they think is right, and then trying to present that as their argument.

And you have here people coming from, I think, each one of these different ideas to Jesus. You know, these Pharisees, whenever they try to trap Jesus, are often very clever about it. And I don't think we always really appreciate that in just reading through Scripture. But they've assembled a group of people from these different ideas and brought them to Jesus and said, What do you say about it?

Are you going to side with Moses? Are you going to side with one of these? Either way, Jesus answers, he's going to make somebody mad. And I think that's what the purpose of them coming to him was, trying to tempt him and confuse him or catch him off guard. So we see the grounds for confusion among the Jews.

They were listening to these people, they were listening to traditions, and they were trying to catch Jesus in the middle of it. We should remember, though, that Moses never commanded divorce and God never approved of it. Deuteronomy 24 again was that of Moses trying to control a growing problem of indecency among the Israelites who had seen this practice in Egypt and perhaps Moses was allowing people to live in a tradition that was picked up from Egypt but his point is that marriage is not something that can simply be thrown around at man's desire at every man's whim and Jesus knows that what Jesus knows what Moses said but Jesus also knows what God had said and how God felt about it from the beginning of time.

And that's where Jesus comes from with this thought. 

• Matthew 19:3-6

Now I want us to appreciate, there are a lot of words in that, but I want us to appreciate sort of the complicated simplicity of which Jesus answers this question. They say, is it lawful for us to divorce our wives for any cause? And Jesus turns back at them and says, No.

Look at how his answer destroys every thought about divorce. How from the beginning, God instituted marriage as a man and a woman that would be bound together, and become one flesh and what God had joined together man had no right to put asunder. 

Where Does Divorce Fit with God's Institution of Marriage?

So where does divorce come into that idea?

I don't think we see divorce in any thought when God instituted marriage and what Jesus says God's point of view of marriage was that it would be two people bound together as one flesh as two people living as one person. His answer is simply no. Can we divorce our wives? No. 

Now, at that point, we should be able to end the lesson right there and close up the book and walk away and say, can we divorce our spouse, or should we have a divorce? No.

But then it's man's tradition and it's man's thoughts and ideas that then complicate matters from there. And, Jesus's answer seems to stun people as it often does today of how simple that is. Man just can't be satisfied with that answer. 

• Matthew 19:7-9

So man's thought and man's tradition are complicated. What should be a very simple answer? Moses command came from having to deal with the hardness of the people's hearts, not willing to live for God, trying to bring them back into some right relationship with God, and living in an imperfect law that God had a plan from this time even to destroy when Christ would come onto the scene.

Notice that the Pharisees tried to justify their actions by taking this passage from Deuteronomy 24 and applying it to what they already believed, to what their notions were, trying to make it fit what they kind of already decided they wanted to believe. But then Jesus takes their interpretation and shows them how even in that time people had abused God's word and His plan for mankind.

We've talked about this week already in the lesson from Romans chapter 1 a few times, Jim mentioned this last night, how that talking about gender and people. Taking gender and messing it up and trying to say that we can be whatever we want to be. And, how from the beginning, that was not something that even seemed to enter the mind, of anyone.

• Romans 1:18-32

In Romans chapter 1, you see God looking at His creation, at what He had put together, and how He had made things so wonderful and amazing. And had such a perfect plan for His creatures, He looks down at it and kind of has the attitude of what have you done, with my commands? What have you done with my plan?

See this disgusted idea of what, when God looks at the way that people have misconstrued what He has said. And I think you see the same thing in marriage today. We live in a society that has gone so far beyond what scripture has said about marriages. And how from the beginning there was no thought that divorce should ever enter a marriage.

I hope tonight that maybe we can take that idea and apply it to our lives that divorce should never come up between two married people. If that idea even is thought about or even brought in, some major problems are going on there that need to be worked out. 

• Mark 7:13 

We see Jesus's answer being so simple and so to the point and destroying the ideas that people were trying to bring in that had nothing, uh, in comparison to what God had said. 

Should Everyone Marry?

We look though, it's amazing too, in Matthew 19, at the reaction of even the disciples. We see that the people there find that they're not going to catch Jesus in this idea because Jesus says, well you're listening, you're taking what Moses said, here's what God said from the beginning.

• Matthew 19:10-12

But then even his disciples are amazed at this answer. 

So the question then becomes, is it better to marry or to not marry? If the idea is that marriage is for life and there's no way out of that, then the disciples step back and think that's a pretty scary thing to say, well, maybe we just shouldn't marry. And Jesus seems to answer with not saying one way or the other. 

• We never find in scripture anywhere that marriage is a command that everyone has to become married to someone else. 
• We see it given as an option that it's a decision of each person. 
• Jesus makes it plain that marriage isn't for everyone and was never intended to be for everyone.
• Sometimes it may be better for people to remain single.
• And not be tempted to sin in that way or to have to endure the heartache of love in their life. 

You know, that's a strange thing to think about and a strange thing I think to hear said, especially in church services when we talk so much about marriage and it's a wonderful thing and I agree with that very, very much. But there is the case that we do need to consider as people of God that when we enter into marriage, there is such a commitment there to another person that consumes every part of our lives, that we are no longer just ourselves, but we are two people made into one. 

And now it's not just a thought of what am I going to do with my life or how am I going to live, but how is my spouse going to live? How do they help me live? It's a consuming part of every part of our lives. 

Paul's Message to the Corinthians Concerning Marriage

Paul talks about this as well. Of warning people about marriage and not saying that it's necessarily just a bad thing to be married, but telling them to think about whether they're ready for that commitment. 

• 1 Corinthians 7:1-9

So we see Paul gives the same option that Jesus gave. In the same way that Paul would say I feel it would be better if people like me would not be married, and would remain single.

We see in Paul that lived out very much that his purpose of not being married was so that he could devote his life entirely to the work of God. Now, this is not an excuse to get out of, or to try to, you know, get out of a marriage that's already in existence to say that I need to get out of this because I need to live for God. That's not at all what Paul is saying, but he's saying to those who are single, consider this fact that marriage is going to be that big of a commitment, that it's something that may be for some, that if they can stay away from that physical relationship that we have in marriage, that it would be better for them to do so. So that, they could focus their entire being on the work of God.

But Paul knows, and Jesus knows, that that is a desire that man has, and that for those that the lifestyle isn't going to work, then for them to marry, for it would be better for them to marry than to burn. But marriage, we should appreciate, that it is one of the most involved things in life that we will ever do, and we should weigh all aspects of it very, very seriously.

The Importance of Spiritual Maturity in Understanding God's Perspective on Marriage

We cannot focus simply on one aspect or another of marriage for, uh, to decide whether or not to marry or to remain single. We have to consider the entire thing. We live in a society that it seems today, that I think, the reason that we see a lot of marriages that get in trouble, in the church in particular, is because of young people who are brought up in a world that focuses so much on the sexual relationship between people. And we see in them that they know, from their parents teaching them, and rightly so, that that is only to be done in a marriage relationship. But it's focused on so much in everything that we see that many young people may get the idea that, well, I've got to be married, or I'm not going to have that relationship, and that's just the natural thing. I have to do that. 

But we see in scripture, again, something a little different. That marriage is not to be thought of in any one aspect of the sexual relationship, or any other aspect that we would pull out of it, but to understand that it is something that will consume every part of your life. It's a commitment that's meant to be lifelong and unforgivable, at least in the sense that we just can't go back on it.

We live in a world that doesn't like to deal with difficult situations. It doesn't like to stick things out for a long haul. And marriage is often a very difficult thing, which is why we see it argued over so much. People, it seems, are married to someone and they decide they don't want to be married to them anymore and will look for any excuse they can find to get out of it.

So to those who are unmarried and considering marriage, I don't want this to sound negative. I am married and very much enjoy being so. But I do want us to understand some things that we should consider, and this is certainly not an exhaustive list, but they are very important.

To understand for someone who's considering being married, and especially young people who are dating or that will be in that situation and someday be considered married, marrying a person. 

• Your spouse should be the person who knows everything there is to know about you. Even the parts that you can't imagine telling anyone else.

You know, I can say in my marriage with Jenna that there are things that she and I know about each other that there is not one other person on this planet who knows. And that's a very important thing and something that I grappled with a lot when thinking about marriage. Jenna and I dated for quite a long time.

We were in a long distance for quite some time, her being up in this area in Warrensburg and I was down in Tennessee in college. But I thought about this a lot. If can I give everything in my life, can I tell this person about everything in my life and trust her with that information? 

• We should also see on the other side that we have that same responsibility to our spouse to be that person for them.

That everything that is involved in our lives should be known about in our marriage relationship. That we should have that kind of relationship to bring, to bring anything in to support each other, to be that confidant for each other. To know things that no one else would ever know. 

• The fact that your life, and even as scripture says, your own body is no longer only yours. It belongs to the two of you. 

And we should never also remember, we should also remember that not every moment of life is going to feel like this type of relationship described. Because we can see that as such a great thing, and people want that, that kind of relationship that I can tell this person anything.

I can feel that, no matter what I say to them, they're going to understand and accept me and help me. 

• We should also understand that marriage, even as good as it may be for people, will not always feel good. 

It doesn't take very long, I'm sure, for people who have been married to begin to realize that not everything is going to feel good in marriage and that there will be times that become very difficult for even the best of relationships. But the point coming from scripture is that two people are to be bound together in marriage and separation should not happen unless it be for a short time for fasting and prayer and then to come back together. 

I can think about this example that was brought to me while I was in college down at Freed Hardeman by a man by the name of Dr. Jim Gardner. For those of you who don't know Brother Gardner, he's a very well-educated man. He's a Bible scholar, if there is such a thing, teaches a lot of classes, has a lot of deep insight, I believe, into things. And one class in particular that I had, I remember him saying this. The class was not necessarily about marriage, but he was using marriage as an illustration. And then to make clear his illustration, he used another illustration, and it became a talk about marriage. But he's also someone who, even though he's in his upper 70s, I believe, is also a marathon runner and a mountain climber. Done that for all of his life, and he has a lot of stories and interesting things about that.

He was one day talking, though, about mountain climbing and some rules that mountain climbers have. I'd never thought about these, never been around that kind of lifestyle. I've never climbed a mountain other than, those of you from Southern Missouri, I've been up in the Caney Mountains, if you know of those in Tennessee. I've climbed Pinson Mounds, but that's not a mountain. Some are big hills, but I've never been in this type of situation. But there were some things, some insights, that I thought were interesting, that have stuck with me to today. 

The first of those is when someone goes to climb a mountain, like say Mount Everest, which is the one that so many, in that field, aspire to climb. They spend a lot of money and a lot of time getting ready for that. That mountain is only, can only be climbed about one month out of the year for the weather is too bad the rest of the time to make it to the top. So people will spend upwards of $100,000 to climb this mountain. They will get there about a month in advance and begin training for that. At least the intensive training right there. They spend much time before training themselves. And then finally, towards the end of it, when they've only got just a very short time to do it they get to try to climb the mountain. 

And there's a time set before that whenever they get to a certain time of the day, that's when they stop. No matter where they're at, no matter how far they've got to go, whether they reach the top or not, they're going to stop there and come back down. Now imagine paying all that money and spending all that time and getting almost to the top, and then there's that time, and you've got to come back down. 

There's a rule that's put in there, we don't see any real exceptions given to it. There's a rule there that's for the safety of people. When they get in that situation, they're not going to be in the condition to make conscious decisions for themselves about what's best. When they get up close to the top of the mountain, of course, the idea is they want to go on, even though it might put them in peril coming back down and not give them enough time to come back to safety.

They've spent all this money and time, they're often exhausted, and they lack oxygen because of the altitudes that they're at, there's all these reasons why this rule was in place before. So that there is, no doubt, when that time comes, they will come back down to safety. 

The other rule that stuck with me probably more is that of don't cut the rope. Mountain climbers, when they climb together, which they usually do, will be fastened together by a rope between, you know, three, four, five, however many people. And they'll kind of go one at a time so that one person tries to take a step up and then the next person follows. And it's sort of like a caterpillar going up, up this mountain. And they do that so that if one person slips and falls, that there's other people there to catch them. And it has happened in times, I don't know how regular this is, but it has certainly been the case in which someone might become, for whatever reason, incapacitated. Maybe fall and not be able to get back. And then it puts the rest of the group in danger. And maybe the thought comes of, well, if we try to save this person, the rest of us could die as well. Or, maybe even sometimes something happens and they believe the person that's fallen or is incapacitated is dead. And needs to be left so that the rest of the group can survive. But there's a rule there of don't cut the rope. Don't ever make that decision while you're there. You have the rule before you go up. Because, again, you will not be in the kind of condition you need to be in to make that kind of a life-changing. The decision to decide to cut the rope and to leave someone there to save other people. 

Now some would have to ask the question of, well, then, wouldn't that lend itself to say that in some situations, that one person who's already dead could cause the rest of the group to die with them? The answer to that is yes, that has been the situation from time to time. But the reason for that rule is because more times than not, that person that's been incapacitated, that's not moving, can be saved. And they've seen in times when someone could be saved and the rope was cut and they were left to die and the rest of the group survived and then having to live with that, we see more times than not, that person could have been saved even though they weren't. So there's a rule put in place for, I guess you could say, the greater good, that we're going to save that person.

• Don't Cut the Rope on Your Marriage

I think that relates to some of what Christ says about the church. The shepherd would leave the ninety-and-nine and go after the one. That it is that kind of personal relationship. But when we take this back then to try to apply it to marriage, think about it like this, when a marriage gets to a point where there's a lot of strife, it doesn't seem like there's anything good coming out of it, that people would begin to consider separating or divorcing, that God has instituted a rule that when you go into marriage, that there will be nothing that will ever cut the rope, that there will be nothing that will ever separate you.

I think that's something that should be talked about and considered very, very seriously before entering into a marriage. Now, would that mean that some situation might arise in which two people make a mistake? They get married when they shouldn't? They're not going to get along to live out this rule that they would have to live out their lives in misery?

Would God expect them to do that? And while I don't think the answer is very popular, I do think the answer is yes. But the point, again, is that more often than not, two people who are married and are living their lives, their marriage based around God. When problems do arise, no matter how serious and: uncomfortable they may be, those things can be worked out and that marriage can be saved, and people can go on living together happily.

But so many people get into a situation in which they're angry, they're frustrated, they're tired, much like mountain climbers would be, and they go to decide at that point, Am I going to stay in this marriage? And too often the decision is, no, I'm not going to. The divorce seems like the easy way out to cut the rope.

But that's why God has instituted the rule beforehand because we're not going to be in the situation where we should, make a good decision at that point. 

• Matthew 19:6

The marriage vow is not to be broken no matter what, with the one exception given, even when things look grim. Notice that the exception of fornication is given as a kind of an afterthought when Jesus says if this situation were to arise that yes, there would be grounds for at least one innocent party to move on from that marriage and to marry someone else.

But at most there would only be one innocent party and I'm afraid that many times that neither party is truly innocent. But if that were to arise, yes, there would be an exception there. But except for that one very exception, the marriage vows to never be broken. More times than not, marriages can be saved if two parties will work together and stick it out.

But when things get difficult, so many times people look for the wrong way out of it. So God has the rule that when I've joined you together, you will not decide to break that marriage. So what is it that can separate a marriage? What can break the marriage vow in the eyes of God and be righteous?

We find the only thing that can escape the marriage vow. It's death. 

• Romans 7:1-3

Notice that the power of death is the only thing that can separate what God has joined together in marriage. Now the other question is, who is it that decides when someone dies? I'd have to say that that is God. So again, death is that strong binding force on mankind that only God can overcome, that only God is in control of. And that would be the only time in which the marriage vow would be broken again by God going back in another sense to what God had said of what I've joined together, man will not put asunder. '

Death is a strong power, it's one that even Christ was submissive to on the earth, one that no man can overcome, that we'll all face death, but it's always controlled by God. 

And look at Paul's message as he goes on there in verses four through six, and how that he begins to compare this and say the same thing about our relationship to Christ. He says, Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ, that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.

For when we were in the flesh, the motions of sin, which were by the law, did work in our members to bring forth fruit unto death. But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held, that we should serve in newness of spirit and not in the oldness of the letter. So notice how we've become dead to the law and here he's talking about the Old Testament.

We've become dead by the body of Christ and been married to another. As Christians, we have this same idea of our marriage relationship being as strong and intimate with one another as our relationship with Christ. We see this talked about in several places of scripture and I think we should appreciate how many ways in which the Bible compares marriage to that of the church and Jesus' relationship to his church.

In Ephesians chapter 5, we see this stated in verses 22 through 31, a passage that's very familiar when talking about marriage, how Christ makes a direct comparison to marriage and the church, where he says, Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body.

Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything. Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that in it should be holy and without blemish.

So ought men to love their wives as their bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself, for no man ever yet hated his flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church. For we are members of his body, of, uh, of his flesh, of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be, excuse me, joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh.

This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband. We see again this comparison between the marriage relationship and the relationship that Christ has with his church.

We see that in several ways Christ talks about having head over the church, head over the bride, that the man would have the, uh, authority over the woman. That's another discussion that we don't have full time to get into and go into the details of. But we see that in there, but we also see the real command back in verses, uh, uh, in verse 25 that says, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.

God's view of marriage from the very beginning was that it was something so strong that it was comparable to what Christ did for the church. I think that's a pretty strong comparison when you look at what Jesus did in establishing the church and giving his own life of coming from heaven to live on the earth to teach as a man to make himself a little lower than the angels and then to be put to death on the cross.

So to destroy a marriage I think we could say is like destroying our flesh, of course, and even it would be like Christ destroying the church. Now imagine that happening. I don't think we could imagine that. It's out of the realm of possibility that Christ would destroy his church. But that's the kind of look that God has at our marriages and the way that he compares them in the New Testament.

So with that in mind, maybe Christ's words about the church can give us some more insight into how we should feel about our marriages. In Matthew chapter 16 and verse 18, Jesus says this to Peter about the church. Says, Thou art Peter, and upon this rock, I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

Christ made a clear statement that when I established the church, even though the apostles were still maybe a little unsure of how that was going to happen, but when the church is established, that not even the power of hell or any type of evil, anything was going to be able to overcome that. We also see in Ephesians chapter 2 and verse 22.

Where it says, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone in whom the whole structure being joined together grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In Him, you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit. Now both of these passages, I think, in a sense, could be applied to marriage because of that comparison between Christ's relationship to his church and the marriage relationship.

As Christ is the cornerstone of the church, so he should be. In a marriage, a marriage without Christ at the head of it, without that religious tent to it, without it being all about helping each other get to heaven and helping each other be as spiritual and as close to God as possible, is not going to work nearly as well as the other way.

A marriage that is as strong as God intended for it to be should be as strong as the church is, that no power of hell should be able to break it apart, that only, again, God could come in between that marriage vow. Again, when God has joined them together, only God can separate them in death. I believe that we should also understand that even in the case of adultery, in which the only exception is given by Christ, there should be a look for a way to reconcile, but many won't.

And there are many cases in which that can't be done. At most, one innocent party may escape, but many times neither will be innocent. And we should understand again when we go into marriage, that we're two imperfect people. We should see the imperfection in each other and help each other find their way to make it work being forgiving people.

I also think in another way in which Christ talks about, uh, uh, the church and when Peter asked him about forgiveness. In Matthew chapter 18, he says, then said Peter to him and said, Lord, how off shall I forgive, uh, my brother sin against me? Uh, how shall, how off shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him?

Till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, uh, I say until seven times, but until seventy times seven. That point is that there should be no end to that, that whatever number you have in mind, you should multiply that time and time and time again. If we're to have that kind of relationship with our brothers and sisters in Christ, the way that Christ has that relationship with us and the church, the church is his bride, then in our marriages, we should consider, that we are two imperfect people.

And that even when major mistakes are made, if there is a way to save that marriage, God would say that should be done. Marriage should be entered in and lived out without there ever being a thought of it ending. That just simply should never come up. It should never be an option for a way out.

We've compared this idea of marriage to the combining of two people in the church. And I want to say one last passage as we close tonight in First Corinthians chapter 12. And how that this passage we often hear read about the body and how that we're to help each other, we're to be, uh, many members all working together as one body in Christ.

And think about this whenever Christ said that it's two people being joined together as one flesh becoming one person. 1 Corinthians 12 starting in verse 12 he says, For as the body is one and hath many members, and all the members of that one body being many are one body, so also is Christ. For by one spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free, and have been all made to drink into one spirit.

For the body is not one member, but many. If the foot shall say, because I am not the hand, I am not of the body, is it therefore not of the body? And if the ear shall say, because I am not the eye, I am not of the body, is it therefore not of the body? If the whole body were an eye, where was the hearing? If the whole were a hearing, where were the smells?

But now hath God set the members, every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. And if they were all one member, where was the body? But now there are many members, yet but one body. And the eye cannot say to the hand, I have no need of thee, nor again the hand to the feet, I have no need of you. Nay, much more, those members of the body which seem to be more feeble are necessary.

And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, upon these, we bestow more abundant honor, and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. For our comely parts have no need, but God hath tempered the body together, having given them more abundant honor to the part which lacked.

That there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care one for another, and whether one member suffers, all the members suffer with it, or one member be honored, then all the members rejoice with it. Now ye are the body of Christ and members in particular. So think about this idea of what he says, particularly in verse 25, that there should be no schism or some versions say no division in the body.

The body of Christ should never be divided. We should be people working together as many members all working for the same purpose. We apply that again, back to marriage and what Christ has said about that, that two members become one flesh or become one person working together in the same relationship.

When Christ talks about two becoming one flesh, I think of it in this way, if I were to go down to the kitchen and take a knife and come back up and cut it into my arm and grab a little piece of flesh and start pulling that off and ripping it out, can you imagine doing that to yourself? Imagine the pain that that would be to tear your flesh apart.

I think that's the description that God gives about marriage when divorce comes in, that it would be like taking your flesh and ripping it apart. Because you have been combined as one person, as one flesh. That's one form of, probably one of the most vile forms of death that was carried out back in the time of the apostles.

And, I believe at least Thomas and maybe one of the others by history have been said to be, have been filleted. That was that they would take and cut parts of their flesh off and peel them back until they died. I can't imagine going through something like that or seeing that done.

But that is sort of the, the imagery that God gives about marriage, that it's supposed to be, uh, two people so involved and so combined, that to break that would be like tearing one's flesh apart. Now we've talked a lot about how serious the idea of marriage is, and I hope that it doesn't turn anyone off from the idea of being married.

That wasn't the intention, but we should understand how serious it is of a relationship that we enter in together. Marriage can be, again, a wonderful, wonderful thing if we go back to what we talked about of being that confidant for each other, someone that can, uh, we can go to with absolutely anything in our lives.

That's the way marriage is looked at by God and what it should be. That's the way our spiritual lives should be with our brothers and sisters in Christ. That we're simply looking to help each other and be beneficial to each other. Trying to get each other to heaven. We often sing the song, God's Family, which says that we're a part of a family, that is of God, that one member feels what the others feel, that sometimes we laugh together, and sometimes we cry.

I say that very much in marriage, that when one person is feeling one thing, the other should feel it along with them. That can be a fantastic thing and a wonderful relationship to have with somebody. But it takes a lot of work, it takes a lot of time and effort to get there. But it's the purpose that God had for marriage from the beginning, to be that help meat for man, as we talked about last night in our lesson.

Going back to Adam and Eve. Tonight, maybe that relationship sounds like it would be a beneficial thing to you in marriage, and certainly, I hope it sounds to be beneficial to you in that relationship with Christ because I think in many ways it is the same relationship. The Scriptures outline a very simple plan for us to find our way into Christ, to be married to Him as being separated from everything else, and to be married to Christ through the Church.

That we would hear what His Word says, believe it, repent of our sins. Confess before men that we believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God and put him on in baptism. And then we have that obligation to stay faithful in our relationship with Christ. There are many here tonight, maybe, who have struggled with that part.

That may have fallen away in that relationship or even in the marriage relationship that happens. Our, relationship with Christ is something that takes as much or more work than our marriages do. Something that should consume our lives and together as married people, we should be able to help each other achieve that.

As brothers and sisters in Christ, we should be able to help each other achieve that relationship with God. If you look into your life and think of things that you need help with, that the church can do for you, of things that you've struggled with, you need encouragement, you need prayers, forgiveness, won't you please contact us and take part with that relationship that you have with God.