Seeking Direction: How to Handle Hurts

Seeking Direction: How to Handle Hurts
October 4, 2020
Passage: 1 Corinthians 13:5
Service Type:

Life often hurts. You'll find out there are hurtful people in the world. Sometimes, you'll find out there are people you know who cause hurt, sometimes from people you know. It's not a matter of if you will be hurt, but rather when.

What's the Best Way to Handle Hurts?

"Sometimes, I guess, there just aren't enough rocks."

Sometimes, when we hurt we want to throw rocks. Maybe they are verbal rocks, or legal rocks.

There will never be enough rocks to make our hurts go away.

Learn and decide to exchange rocks with love.

We've been told this all our lives. There is a better way.

  • 1 Corinthians 13:5

Sometimes, life hurts. Sometimes, love hurts.

How to Handle Hurts

Misconception: Love is not about fairness.

Love is not about fairness. Sometimes, when we are asked to love we are asked to do something that seems unfair. Love does not come with qualifiers. God-like love does not come with qualifiers.

The way the Bible teaches us to love has nothing to do with fairness.

If we lived under he old law, an eye for an eye world. What if we lived in that world? Soon, we would all be blind. If God was all about being fair, why did Jesus need to come?

The way of love does not give people what they deserve, but instead, what they need!

When you Give People what they need it is Grace, rather than what is deserved.

  • Luke 22:31-34
  • Luke 22:54-62

How did Jesus treat Peter?

Jesus knew exactly what was going to happen with Peter. What did it feel like to have Peter in the same room? Jesus turned, and looked upon him.

What would have been the fair thing for Jesus to have done to Peter? For Him to send him out never to trust him again.

But what did love say? Jesus prayed for him. And, reminded him that when he was converted to strengthen the brethren. And, after the resurrection, He told Peter to feed His sheep.

That's love.

  • I Will Love You if --- Bargaining
  • God doesn't' love you, because of...
  • God doesn't love you, if...
  • God loves you, even  if.

That's not fair - that's grace! Grace is the willingness to love, hurt.

Two Rocks We Pick Up


  1. Anger almost always leaves collateral damage.
  2. If you don't' deal with anger quickly, you open the door to Satan.
    1. Ephesians 4:26-27
    2. Colossians 3:8

Don't let anger take care of the hurt. You'll never run out of anger.


Resentment is when you hold on to the hurt. The rock of resentment can become a boulder too big to carry.

  • Holding on to a wrong never comes out right.
    • Ephesians 4:31-32
  • The person you are really hurting is yourself.
    • Forgiveness -- Heals
    • Resentment -- Hurts
  • It gives the Devil opportunity to affect our lives.
    • 1 Corinthians 5
    • 2 Corinthians 2:6-11
  • Resentment is foolish, it portrays a stubborn refusal to deal with others like you want and expect God to deal with you.

How do you want God to deal with you?

God expects you to treat other people the way that you want Him to treat you. Reconciliation always requires forgiveness.

Forgiveness is Not:

  1. Minimizing the seriousness of the offense.
  2. Restoring relationships without changes.
  3. An instant trust. Trust needs to be earned.
  4. A cheap granting of relationship. It is an invitation to rebuild that relationship.

Forgiveness is:

  1. Cancelling debt.
  2. Opening a door for a relationship restoration.

"If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men."- Romans 12:18

And then, you need to pray about the rest.

God may not only heal you, but he may use you to model the gospel.

Have you ever thought about how much it hurt God to love and forgive you?

  • Gethsemane
  • The unjust trial
  • The crown of thorns
  • The spittle
  • The scourging
  • Carrying the cross
  • The nails in his hands and feet

"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" - Matthew 27:46

Nothing about the cross was fair. Nothing about your salvation is fair.

  • Not saying - The cross makes forgiveness easy.
  • Are saying -- The cross makes forgiveness possible.

"Sometimes, I guess, there just aren't enough rocks" There will never be enough rocks to make our hurts go away.

Learn and decide to exchange rocks with love and forgiveness.

"Father, forgive them: for they know not what they do." - Luke 23:34

How do you handle hurts?

  • Ephesians 4:32

Don't you want to treat others the way that God treats you? Maybe you need to deal with hurts that you are holding on to. Is that how you want God to treat you?

Maybe you need to be forgiven. You can do that by obeying the gospel of Jesus Christ. Our sins contributed to the cross as well. God, what can I do?

Believe in Jesus Christ as the son of God, Repent of your sins, confess his name before men, and be baptized to have your sins forgiven. And, God will forgive you.

We pray you will make things right with God today.

If we can assist you in overcoming hurts, please contact us.

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