A friend seeks to promote our happiness and prosperity – in other words, they desire and seek the best for us in all things. Webster’s Dictionary defines a friend as, “One who is attached to another by affection; one who entertains for another, sentiments of esteem, respect, and affection, which lead him to desire his company, and to seek to promote his happiness and prosperity.” Friends are an important part of our lives.
A True Friend
Solomon wrote several great proverbs dealing with friendship.
“A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
— Proverbs 17:17
“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”
— Proverbs 27:17
A friend is loyal to you, wants the best for you, and acts accordingly. A true friend wants to help you grow as a person and, more importantly, to help you grow spiritually.
Dealing with False Friends
What happens when our friends do not act toward us as a true friend should?
When they do not seek our best interest, and when instead of helping us to grow spiritually and personally, they become a hindrance or an occasion to stumble for us. People like this are not our friends. In the following passage, Jesus spoke of removing anything that might come between us and God.
“And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.”
— Matthew 5:29-30
The same rule would apply, “if thy best friend offend thee…” Offend here means to cause to sin or to tempt to sin. If your friend is tempting you to sin and will not stop, cut him off, pluck him out, and cast him from you. You would be better off having no friends at all than surrounding yourself with those who would willfully tempt or encourage you to commit sin.
“Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.”
— 1 Corinthians 15:33
The perfect example of how to deal with our friend who would tempt us to sin is seen in Matthew chapter 16. Peter has just made his great confession that Jesus is “the Christ, the Son of the Living God,” (Matthew 16:16).
Next, Jesus began to teach His disciples that he had come to do the will of the Father and be crucified. He would have sinned had he not done the Father’s will. Yet his friend Peter tempted Him in trying to prevent it.
“Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, Be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee. But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.”
— Matthew 16:22-23
Jesus literally told Peter “get thee behind me adversary…” (the Greek word “satanas” simply means “one who opposes another in purpose or act” (Thayer’s Greek Lexicon), “…thou art an offense to me…” ( literally a cause to stumble.)
After this Peter was no longer a cause of offense to Jesus – so the relationship was allowed to continue.
Our lesson from this ought to be that we should tell those who cause us to stumble to get away from us or to stop tempting us to sin. If they refuse to do that, then they do not have our best interest at heart and are not really a true friend to us. They are therefore become our “satanas” from whom we must depart.
How to be a True Friend
Not only must we choose our friends wisely and depart from those who would cause us to sin, but we must also strive to be true, and a loyal friend.
“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
— Proverbs 18:24
We should be a friend such as Jonathan was to David.
“And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father’s house. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.”
— 1 Samuel 18:1-3
And as such a friend as David was to Jonathan.
“I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women…”
— 2 Samuel 1:26
This last passage in NO WAY implies that there was anything between David and Jonathan besides platonic friendship and brotherly love. In ancient times, women were seen as inferior; therefore brotherly friendships between men were viewed as more fulfilling than a relationship with a woman, even one’s own wife.
- Jack McNiel, Evangelist
